So, a little while ago I penned a post mainly for men looking to find their mate, and it's only fair that a mirror sequel follows. By public demand and all that.
I must confess that I'm a traditionalist when it comes to these things, and so I strongly believe it is the man's job to find, and the woman's to be, well, found. Still, if I had a daughter, I'd want to tell her things she can look out for that may help her in deciding whether that thief of a skinny boy is good for her. Needless to say, I'll have a couple of shotguns to help her along with the choice.
Read my other disclaimers in the earlier post. Those dealt with...
1. He's Poetic (Sort of)
Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh...you shall be called woman! Blame it on Adam, but since that day, women have expected to hear poetic lyricism from their men. Your man must be a man who likes to sing your praises, who extols your virtues whether he's with you or not. If he went ahead and spent a whole month trying to craft a poem to read you on your date, well in...
2. He works hard for you
Again, ask Jacob, that all-time standard setter for how long you should work for the girl you love. Mwanaume ni effort. You want a man that's making the effort in your relationship. A man who goes out of his way to find out that you like Indian tulips and scours the city for them just to make you happy. If he leaves all the initiating and all the work to you, and all he wants is to turn up and have fun, you have trouble on your hands.
3. He hears from God
This, to me, is the most critical element. He must hear from God. My wife showed me this recently - for some reason, in all my many years of reading the Bible, I had never seen this part of the story. When Mary was a virgin girl being used of God, she received angelic visits and God spoke to her directly. The minute she hooked up with Joseph, things changed, and Joseph was now the recipient of God's direction for their lives. Think about that. If you hook up with a guy who's not in step with God, it's gonna get sticky before long.
4. He's consistent
The C-word. It is almost as much shunned by men as that other C-word, Commitment. Consistent means constantly adhering to the same principles, course or form. It means holding firmly together. It's the word you use to describe well mixed dough - no lumps, no airy spots, same through and through.You want a man who's steady, not one thing today and another tomorrow. You want him consistent in his values, in his character, in his behavior, in his choices. You want him there, or deliberately taking steps to get there.
5. He honors you
Or I guess you could say he loves you. Or respects you. Or treats you well. They're all in there. If your man abuses you when he's angry, he won't change when you're married. If you're his wallet companion - meaning he only brings you out when necessary, and even then hides you, never talks about you in front of his friends or workmates - watch out. Not only should he be a man who celebrates you, he should your number one fan and defender.
6. He's like you
This is the other critical one. He will have a huge say on how your future lives look - you better share the same values. Find out early, because you probably think you do (just because he's saved) until the day he clears all your savings to buy himself a Maserati.
Feel free to add your own :)
